Parenting, siblings, favorites & pain

As life happens & unfolds floods of buried emotions & pain that lay deep eventually begin to surface either to control ones life or in the process of healing usually once the shit has hit the fan 

It’s not a question of being loved more or less but the expression is clearly skewed to one side. This is a hard thing to witness to hear as it pulls at my heart strings, to watch the transference and damage lay it’s foundation into the finer of another human being. Not intentional, oblivious yet I can’t help think if we are parenting without intention well then, you fill in the blanks

To boast & sine proud of a child’s accomishments is natural 

The kid that ran the 100 yard dash, excelled in sports leaves his parents glowing while the other sits in the dark growing resentment & brewing in misery we can all see the downhill path being created and the fingers shaking in re confirming their lack in ability. It’s not easy to be a parent no one said it would be. 

She wanted to be dancer but her legs didn’t work her sibling soared to the top of her field, sponsors, family gloating of the accomplishments. This family was a shining example and inspiring to me because they adjusted & altered their approach yes they bragged about their child’s achievement and popularity but they made it a point to not leave the other behind they did whatever it takes to assist, support encourage both. It’s just one required a different approach to feel validated and to the parents it was a learning curve that was foreign to them but they learned & practiced in order to make sure one child didn’t feel left behind, now that’s inspiring. I have worked in mental health and additions for a long time and to some degree I must say that we most often unknowingly create the addicts, the broken, the……

On the good news if we play such a big part of it then we can change that, not by throwing our arms up in the air and giving up but by owning our part and finding alternative ways, sometimes we call it therapy

I’m totally inspired by the second story both children have gone on to excel in their community, feeling loved & values is not to be under estimated. 

I’m grateful for the permission I received to share this

If anyone benefits by it great

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask

Thank you

R Zee 

A rope can hang or be a life line 

 

When things get heavy, sometimes just a glimpse of Light will do it

There are some days when its so much harder to pull myself up and out, today is one of those days. Lately Ive had to push myself more to keep afloat, chin up chin up, dang my neck is starting to kill me from this chin up shit. I’m tired and at times frightened like a child at what the future holds. I come from a background of total uncertainty, all to often having heard you can lean on me only to end up flat of my face. Things have changed from when i was young and learn some twisted cruel lessons that are not necessarily the fabric of the rest of the world however it was mine, its woven into my foundation my core and still reeks havoc in my life today, like a ball and chain weighing me down to the ground. I paint a smile on my face and do what needs to get done. Being responsible is a huge big deal for me, and i have very little patience for a lack of it. Behind the smile lies my exhaustion with it all. My daughter keeps me here period, its something i could never burden her with. There are days were i am hoping on for dear life, today one of them. I need some me time desperately.