Labels what R they good for

It all started Wednesday morning after I posted a tweet from @robinzee1

“Let’s end the stigma on ‪#‎mentalhealth‬! ‪#‎BellLetsTalk‬
‪#‎BorderLineMe‬ i hate the word stigma &
harm it does. SpreadTheWord ‪#‎shareyourstory‬”

my friends comment to the post was this; Labels belong on can’s and not people……stigma hurts and hurtful comments cut deeper and sometimes the comments come from lack of understanding, compassion and empathy…sad are those who foam at the mouth are sadly those in need of therapy and much needed help the most.
They use the label on others to deflect not looking directly at themselves which is really sad 😦 by K.j. Hirter

This got me thinking as dissolving the stigma (i hate the word stigma) is a great catch phrase but, what’s it mean & how do we do that.

Stigma to me, comes with harsh perceptions, judgements, attitudes that often leave a person feeling threatened as its hurts ones soul, it hurst emotionally and spiritually.

At times I think #labels have their purpose and in all honesty there is nothing wrong with a label (on cans perhaps); some folks have told me they resent it, some have said they feel a sense of relief from it, some make light of it, some take it with a grain of salt.

Personally I often wanna scream out the only stigma that “should” attach itself to label is the word “normal” and whatever preconceived notion normal is & we have of that. Certainly, the times we live in seem to me, anything but healthy/normal so is normal equivalent to unhealthy cause it sure seems to be. But then I’ve been called crazy. I have never been called boring though, hmmmm

I’ve been diagnosed with a slew of #mentalhealth labels enough to warrant a one women show called @BorderLineMe and I have also reached the point in my life where I feel no shame though at times I do feel awkward & insecure but i think thats just my humanness surfacing. I find the world a scary place. But delivering my story of #sexualabuse, #addiction, #streetlife, #humantrafficking & #mentalhealth, #courage, #healing, #birth and so forth, well I’ve been told and have experienced it personally that it normalizes all the diagnosis, the labels that have been imposed on me.

My grandmother Sissie, used to tell me of a time when the big C “cancer” was entrenched in stigma, folks would take 3 steps back away from you, fear of it being contagious, fear of the unknown, fear, fear, fear. And now somehow the stigma of the big C Cancer dissolved yet the numbers of increased diagnoses also grew (considering Monsanto not surprising we’d be getting sick but that a different subject matter, sort of)

As issues of #mentalhealth increase, diagnosis increases (personally i think there is a correlation to diet/environment & don’t even get me started on pharmaceuticals)

Trying desperately to say to the point; folks more an more folks are either being diagnosed or know someone in the family &/or circle who has been diagnosed. It is wide spread and it is a part of main stream, no longer on the outskirts.

Sometimes i think we need a major overhaul; no shame in having a diagnosis, BIG SHAME in mocking or belittling someone who has been diagnosed, that is where the shame needs to really fall. More education, less fear, more stories being shared by the most courageous folks Ive ever crossed paths with, more normalizing it into the main stream.

One of the things I have noticed after having worked int he field of #MentalHealth and having experienced being a consumer of the services that it is very often those who project a distasteful judgement or attitude those who feed the stigma are so very often immersed in their own baggage but a zillion miles removed from owning it, admitting it, or even wanting to acknowledge it, so when you are sitting in the presence of a mental health worker and often reflecting similar and the professional is not as advanced as the person seeking the help, well ya end up with a mess and because when first entering the field for help, ya have a tendency of thinking believing that they know what they ar doing, well that ain’t necessarily so. Please don’t get me wrong there are some fabulous workers in the system, some great programs but at times its hit and miss but that doesn’t mean to give up, we keep on and we gravitate to those who accept us with all our quirks then we have found what feels like home, #acceptance, #love, #tenderness, #compassion. Truth is we don’t necessarily have to understand or be able to relate in order not to be an ass to another human being. Just because we may not agree doesn’t mean we have to pass judgement or cause another pain, after all its their life not yours.

In support with #BellLetsTalk movement and an advocate for dissolving and/or redirecting the #stigma attached to #MentalHealthlabels.

Sometimes I question if what i say makes any sense at all to anyone but me. That fact kept me in silence for years. At this stage and age, fuck it the only thing I do try to be aware of is that i not cause others pain.

Many times tempted to ask if anyone wants to swamp shoes, you know that old saying walk a mile in my shoes, I have asked in the past, so far no takers. Im making the best of what life has thrown my way, some throw there 2 cents in is to how I “should” and then i offer them my shoes and they back away. I do the best I can with the label imposed on me, with the reality of what it is to be me. This image rarely applies to me anymore, for which I am grateful, as I am much more accepting of myself now.

DBT and life’s inspirational unfolding

I dont know how long its been from the very first session I began to notice a heightened #awareness unfolding in my day to day life. As if the information had entered from the side door in silence. Once I began putting into conscious effort, it was hit and miss at times but I’m guessing thats just part of self acceptance of my own #humanness. Skills with names I often forget get implemented into daily life, particularly useful for me when dealign with mediocre customer service. What a gift, a certain calmness has come to be and well we all know that stress is a drag and takes its toll on us physically, emotionally & spiritually. So I’m trimming the fat this year, setting boundaries I find with my #BorderLinePersonality it’s especially an issues.

Im also running an #InnerChild series which has been so blessing in so many ways. Thru my eyes is my window to my dream reality.

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The other day as the tension accumulated and knotted itself into my neck, I was tempted to post on #Facebook “seeking strong set of hands to massage my neck” I hesitated in the foresight of those jumping on and to conclusion while shaking my head. I wondered how many would reply with the back thought of massaging my neck, working their way down my back and sliding their hands up between my thighs. I couldn’t help but think how I am so not one of these gals who’s post that kind of invitation for anyone in particular to reply too. After all if I wanted more first off I would not post or announce it to the world (nobodies business) and I’m not a receptacle for someone to jack off into. What I really wanted is to alleviate the pain and knots in my neck. Interesting how so many are quick to jump on or into. There was a time I had posted something about knee pads and the post had gone south in misinterpretation, as if I was speaking or referring to a blow job. Good G-d, really.

There was recently an article I read about the challenges a single women travelling and the similarity to this thread; to dating and the bloody expectation that something more is expected because you bought dinner, a drink or an offer of something as straight forward as a please help me get the knots out of my neck. I can certainly understand a hopefulness for something more, I get that. However to not curtail that only leads to a solid no go, it aint happening come hell or high water as it. It leaves a stain. This year I am trimming the fat and already feel much calmer and once I made that decision, the knots began to loosen though I’m still in  the market for a neck rub which doesn’t equal a lay. Sometimes its much less aggravating to hire a masseuse and so it shall be. May your year be knot free.